The view from the plane was amazing. The blue sky melded seamlessly with the ocean below, clouds rolling in streams and casting shadows on the undulating waves below. It was the perfect scene.

She laughed softly beside me, breaking me out of my trance. I turned to look at her, wondering what she was laughing at. Her screen showed a movie showing, Rebel Wilson was in it, "How to be single" was the title I think, an odd choice of a movie. Nonetheless she seemed to be enjoying it thoroughly. She was beautiful when she smiled.

"Is it nice?" I asked her
"Huh?" she replied, not really hearing my question, her eyes still glued to the screen.
"Is this movie good?" I repeated, a little closer this time.
"Its okay" she replied, still smiling at the screen.

I smiled, I knew that "its okay" was the highest possible compliment she gave. She liked the movie apparently. I turned back to the window, we were descending slowly now and I could see ships sailing across the sapphire blue waters. This was beginning to shape up into a wonderful trip I thought, and smiled again to myself.

She sat beside me in silence. Her eyes looking forward, unblinking, unmoving. She looked tired, I could see it in her eyes. It was my fault she was tired. And I couldn't do anything to help.

"Are you tired?" I asked her.

"Why?" Her usual reply, always the curious-er one.

"You look tired" I replied.

She didn't answer me.

I messed up I realized. I was so stupid and so egotistic. I didn't see that she was really what mattered to me. And now, only after, did I know. She was the one who would do anything for me. And she was the one who really mattered.

I touched her face, she didn't flinch, didn't move. She looked back at me, her mouth in a slight smile.

"What are you looking at?" She asked, rhetorically, she knew I always looked at her.

My heart skipped a beat. She was beautiful when she said that. It wasn't because she didn't know why either, it was because she wanted to talk to me.

"You. Cause you're beautiful" I replied.

"Right..." She said, looking forward once more. I swear her tiny little smile got a little bit bigger.

She sat a little straighter as a gust of wind blew at her hair. Silence once more.

There were so many things I wanted to tell her. So many things I wanted to show her. So many things I wanted to do with her. The way she used to smile when I told her stories of my day. The way she laughed at my jokes, however lame they were. They way she would press her head into my chest. I missed those.

I looked at her once more. She looked back, head tilted low, her eyes looking upward at my face. She was cute.

"What?" She demanded once more.

I smiled again and swore to myself never to make her cry again.

"merry christmas", I whispered as she rested her head on my chest. The cold night air enveloped the both of us as she hugged me even tighter.
"do you miss me?" she asked, her hands shivering from the cold.
"of course", I replied. Her warmth, her kindness, her love. I missed them all.
"I missed you too" she said. Her voice trailing off into the cold night air.

I placed my hand around her cheeks, stroking them. Her hazel eyes looked back at me. Melancholy? I did not understand, I was right there with her, why is she emanating such a sad look?

I closed my eyes and gave her a kiss. As passionate as I could.
And then I woke up. My heart aching. The room dark. I looked around the room and saw a light blinking on my phone. It was text from her -
Merry Christmas baby, I love you.

Thunder rumbles in the distance
Howling wind beckons
The soft and inevitable
The rain approaches

You rest your head
On my chest
My heartbeat in sync
With the sound of the rain

You draw a line down my back
Sending chills arching
I squirm and writhe
Like the lightning

You whisper in my ears
Words so reassuring
I smile in my sleep
Sounds of rain accompanying

The clouds touch the Earth
And the rain falls
You close your eyes
And kiss my lips

There it is
What I've been waiting for
Here it is
What did I worry for

When I go for camp,
And I won't see you for weeks,
I just want you to know,
That I miss you just as much,
As you miss me.

When I turn on the TV,
Or listen to spotify,
I hear the songs.
The songs you've danced to,
And I miss you.

When I walk around the mall,
All the sights and sounds,
We used to look at together,
I always can't help,
But miss you too.

When I'm at rehearsals,
With my violin under my chin,
I remember how,
You like my playing,
And I miss you again.

Just so you know,
I think about what you do
Every single minute,
every single second,
I wonder if you've eaten,
if you're safe,
and if you miss me
like I do today.

Just so you know,
my heart skips a beat
when you smile at me.
Is this a fact of magic?
Or some trick of science?
I just can't help
smiling back at you
So you would continuing smiling

Just so you know,
I could hug you all day long.
Immersed in your smell,
caressing your face,
kissing your lips,
feeling your pulse,
watching you sleep.
I will do that all day.

Just so you know,
I love you.
I am thankful to have met you
that you took the courage
and showed me how
love felt again.
I love you
all the way.

   I've never been one to keep contact with friends for many years. If we've stopped talking, chances are I will move on. I've never had "childhood" friends or buddies who have been with me since school. One of the many cons of migrating all the time I guess.
   Thus, I never understood this insistence with meeting your ex-partner. To me, relationships, once they ended, was the end of the friendship. Even if people parted on good terms, there can never be the same interactions ever again. And I am okay with that. Life goes on, and I move on, and I don't look back at the things that was or could have been. For this reason, I am happy with the present. Despite the problems, this is what we have. Whatever happened, have already did, and there is nothing we can do anymore about it. Whatever could have happened never did, and hence, are of no consequence at all.
   It seems very strange, therefore, why you kept asking and insisting on meeting him. Especially so after the fact he tried to hide things from me. What was it really I wondered. Was it reminiscence for old times? Are you not happy with the present? Was it just catching up with a friend? Why can't this be done through social media then? And why the insistence I not be present if you do meet up? Awkwardness? Seems like a very arbitrary excuse.
   You asked me to trust you, yet I still find myself fearing. I don't like him. I don't like him at all. I don't like the way he is treating you. So sorry, and please forgive me if I cannot understand why you still insist.