"So what are you going to do tomorrow?" I asked.
"Oh, I'm going to meet him..." She replied, looking straight at my face as if soliciting for a response.
"Ohhhh..." I started, as I gave my best I-don't-care-face.
"What? You're jealous?" She asked, half smiling. Apparently my I-don't-care-face failed.
"Oh no... Not really." I tried avoiding her gaze.
"You're frowning, that means something is up."
I continued trying to avoid her gaze. I guess my face betrayed my emotions.
"Tell me." She continued in a firm voice.
"Well, its just that I had hoped I would have been able to make you forget about him." I said.
"You're already doing more than he did in three years." She said softly.
"Not enough apparently..." I muttered.
I guess I should have known what I was getting into. Yet somehow, I had hoped for a little too much, too soon.
"Nah, don't worry about me, I'll be fine, I always am." I smiled. Our conversation drifted on to other topics.
"Why are you making me fall for you?" She asked suddenly. Slightly more serious this time.
I was startled. I believed I was only doing what every guy should do, or at least how I was raised to believe in anyway.
"Is that a bad thing?" I laughed, as best a laugh as I could manage given my conflicted feelings.
"Nooo, its not." She smiled. A beautiful smile as always. I loved it.
"You know what," I started, "Do what makes you happy."
A genuine wish but here I was putting my feelings aside again. I have been told I do that too often, that I am too nice to people, and that this was the reason I was dumped. I did not know if that was true, but I do believe that people should be treated genuinely.
"I think I can make you happier than him though." I said. I couldn't believe what I just said. The me from the past would not have said something like this and I immediately regretted saying it.
"I know you can." She smiled again. Still the same drop-dead gorgeous smile. I smiled weakly in reply as I pushed my roti-telur around with my fork.
What could I say to that smile? In the end, my feelings prevailed.
0 comments:
Post a Comment